Feature
06 Jul 2026
Introduction
Those of us in people-helping professions, church family life education, as well as reconciliation ministries would be familiar with Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages.[i] The different languages of love—words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch—provide us with a broadened understanding of how love can be expressed and received.
Fewer of us, however, are familiar with the work of Russian American sociologist Pitirim Sorokin on the five dimensions of altruistic love introduced in his book The Ways and Power of Love first published in 1954.[ii]
In what follows, I briefly describe each of Sorokin’s dimensions of love and show their relevance for how we serve and care for the elderly in our families, churches, and wider communities. I will also draw insights about authentic love from the Apostle Paul’s Hymn to Love in 1 Corinthians 13, bringing together sociology and Scripture in a duet that deepens our vision of care.
Sorokin’s Five Dimensions of Altruistic Love
The five dimensions of altruistic love described by Sorokin
include the following: intensity, extensivity, duration, purity, and adequacy.
Intensity. This refers to the strength and depth of love one holds for another. A young adult who was nurtured and supported by a grandmother during the turbulent years of adolescence might carry an intense, abiding affection for her.
Intensity however is not always rooted in familial ties or emotional debt. Sometimes, a chance encounter with a senior on the street can stir tender, intense, and heartfelt love for that individual.
Extensivity. This refers to the scope and reach that one’s love extends to. Humans are often tribal, and we tend to love our own kind. As a result, we often mistake loving the many variations within our own circle as extensive love.
True extensivity, however, entails loving beyond our familiar race, language, and socio-economic boundaries. It challenges us to include not only seniors who are fit, famous, and fashionable, but also those who are frail, cognitively impaired, socially isolated, or come from vastly different life experiences.
This was precisely what Jesus taught when he confronted a parochial understanding of ‘neighbour,’ radically redefined who ‘our neighbour’ is, and illustrated with a concrete example what it means to love extensively (Luke 5:27–32; Luke 10:25–37).
Duration. This describes love that remains steady and committed over time. A friend shared a story about an elderly relative who had cancer, was deaf, and was suffering the onset of dementia. She lived alone but had to make frequent visits to the hospital for medical treatment, a senior day care centre for dementia support, and the neighbourhood active ageing centre for exercise and meals.
As the story unfolded, it was revealed that a mute cousin was looking out for her—accompanying her to medical appointments, making sure she ate, and helping her stay active. This unnoticed and uncelebrated care which extended over many years illustrates the essence and heart of durational love.
Purity. This refers to the selflessness of love that is free from personal gain or advantage. It is seen in a trusted family friend who assures an elderly couple that their adult autistic son will be cared for. After they pass on, this friend faithfully fulfils that promise.
It is also expressed by thoughtful care group members who bring worship and fellowship into the homes of isolated seniors who face mobility challenges. By curating familiar hymns and offering short, meaningful messages, they ensure spiritual nourishment and blessing is made available to seniors who might otherwise be forgotten.
Adequacy. This describes the appropriateness of love as it responds to the real and present needs of others. Help offered to seniors, though well-intentioned, is often shaped more by the giver’s assumptions and convenience than by a thoughtful understanding of the senior’s actual circumstances.
As such, insisting that a once-indispensable, hands-on elderly mother must never do household chores or step out of the house should be balanced with considerations of autonomy and dignity. In such cases, adequate love involves more than providing food and shelter. It is also mindful of her agency, identity, and sense of purpose.
At the same time, adequate love does not simply cater to every demand or preference—especially when these arise from confusion, ingrained habit, or limited self-awareness. A person with dementia, for instance, may insist on eating lunch again immediately after a full meal.
As such, adequate love is a delicate dance between protection and respect, between setting necessary limits and preserving a senior’s freedom. What it calls for includes discernment, adaptability, and a posture of listening.
Although many more examples of Sorokin’s altruistic love can be shared, my purpose here has been to introduce, explain, and clarify his five dimensions. Collectively, they give us language that invites thoughtful reflection for how we interact with the elderly in our midst.
The Apostles Paul’s Exhortation to Authentic Love in the Church
Interestingly, the five dimensions of altruistic love outlined by Sorokin echo qualities of authentic love described by the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13. While the entire chapter is a Hymn to Love, NT scholar Alan Johnson draws attention to vv. 4–7, where Paul identifies qualities that define the nature of Christian love.
In those verses, Paul presents love as a set of choices. First, it involves embracing seven positive actions—being patient, kind, rejoicing with the truth, bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, and enduring all things.
Second, it requires intentionally avoiding eight negative behaviours—not envying, not boasting, not being arrogant, not being rude, not insisting on its own way, not being irritable, not being resentful, and not rejoicing at wrongdoing. (Johnson 2004, 247–248). [iii]
For the Apostle Paul, love is both what we practice and what we renounce. He teaches that love is rooted in habitual and considered choices. True love is never mindless, nor should it be done merely on our own terms. It requires deliberate action and an others-centred orientation.
Paul’s teaching on love is particularly relevant as our seniors transition from what has been called the ‘third age’ to the ‘fourth age’ of life.
“If the third age is defined as being older and still remaining independent, then the fourth age is the age of frailty, dependency and being in need of care.” (MacKinlay 2006, 11).
Given that seniors in the ‘fourth age’ stage are often more vulnerable and increasingly care reliant, Christian love in practice will test how fully caregivers embody Paul’s teaching. The test and toll of caring in the face of unrelenting demand will certainly stretch our understanding and application of Paul’s hymn of love to its very limits.
Beyond the Duet: A Chorus of Love
When we bring the words of Sorokin and the Apostle Paul alongside each other, we hear the voices of sociology and Scripture pointing us to what love, at its best, can be. Together they sing a duet of love which is rooted in the sacrificial self-emptying and self-giving love of Christ.
Deepening understanding and fuelling imagination of the high demands of authentic, altruistic love, however, can also lead to despondency for primary caregivers who often shoulder the burden of care alone. Though lifegiving, their work is often unremitting, unseen, and unappreciated.
For that reason, the duet must evolve into a chorus of participants drawn not just from our homes but also from the larger church family and even from our neighbourhoods. This collective effort draws life and breath from the Holy Spirit whose sustaining power encourages and enables from the sweetest through to the bleakest moments of eldercare.
With God as Choir Director, this is a song the body of Christ and the larger community is called to sing to and with the elderly in our midst. In practicing such radical, altruistic love, we bring needed blessing and bear faithful witness to God’s boundless and immeasurable love.
[i] Chapman, Gary. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Fourth. Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2015.
[ii] Sorokin, Pitirim Aleksandrovich. The Ways and Power of Love: Types, Factors, and Techniques of Moral Transformation. Boston, MA: Beacon Press, 1954.
[iii] Alan F. Johnson, 1 Corinthians, vol. 7, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Westmont, IL: IVP Academic, 2004),.
Dr Calvin Chong is Professor of Practical Theology at Singapore Bible College. His teaching and research interests include orality studies, hermeneutics, new educational technologies, designing learning experiences, the impact of narratives on worldview and values, conflict resolution/reconciliation, and contemporary urban missions and youth issues.